


The Avengers TextMessages

by HeartsWatson



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 02:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 12,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1249060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartsWatson/pseuds/HeartsWatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Funny texts/chats between the Avengers, and of course, Loki. (shenanigans and ridiculousness ensue).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I've gotten many complaints over my ships in this story, and I'd like to note that it is NOT ship-centered. This is a repost of my work by the same title over on fanfiction.net. I've been asked to post it on some different sites (which I am not familiar with so if formatting or something is wrong I apologize), and this is my attempt to do so. (Also, plese excuse the first few chapters, I know they're the worst of all.) I've also tried to not edit the story, although I'm tempted to remove my immature/embarassing A/Ns (exhibit A: "Over 2,000 hits? HOLY MOTHER HEN! Anyway… I'm so grateful that so many people like my story! My life can be incomprehensibly dull sometimes, and writing funny stuff and seeing how many people enjoy my funny stuff brightens up my day! d(w)b"). One more thing, people have asked me to take individual chapters and make them into one-shots. I like the idea, so if you want so see me do that let me know! Thanks!

Hi, so I was bored and I had some ideas of what the Avengers (and Loki) would say in text messages, and I decided to write some of my own. I hope you like it!

* * *

Tony: Guys… WTF is going on! Who painted my damn Iron Man suit GREEN!

Clint: Green? Well, who do you know that's favorite color is green?

Tony: fucking hell, LOKI!

Loki: Well, I am the God of Mischief ;)

Tony: Fuck you Loki. I am going to get you back so bad for doing this… and what's with the winky face?

Loki: Oh, nothing ;D

Clint: Lol

Tony: Fuck off, legolas.

Clint: -.-

Loki: …How, exactly, are you planning to get back at the God of Mischief, Stark?

Tony: I have my ways, reindeer games.

Loki: We shall see about that.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony: Hey, Steve! What do you say you and me go out on the town tonight!

Steve: … I'm sorry?

Tony: You know, go clubbing!

Steve: Um… no thanks.

Tony: Steve, you were frozen for 65 years. Isn't it time to live a little?

Steve: I'd rather just go to the gym.

Tony: Dude, if you come with me you'll have the time of your life. Maybe I'll even help you pick up some girls.

Steve: Um… I believe in abstinence.

Tony: So, you really are a virgin. Wow.


	3. Chapter 3

Fury: Avengers, we need you to assemble at the tower.

Nat: What's the problem now, Fury?

Thor: I am to busy to help right now. I am trying to find something of mine that Loki stole.

Fury: What did he steal from you?

Thor: Well… um… he stole my shampoo…

Loki: So you use extra smooth?

Thor: BROTHER!

Clint: ROLF!

Steve: Really Thor?

Thor: I just like to take care of my hair? Is that such a burden?

Banner: LOL

Nat: Can we get back to the subject now?

Fury: Yes. So, Stark was working on creating some type of robotic workers for S.H.I.E.L.D. … But there were some malfunctions.

Nat: Just tell us what happened already!

Fury: Well, it appears that Stark put too much intelligence into the robots. Now they have me and all the other agents cornered.

Clint: Ugh…

Fury: Stark says the robots are just smart like him.

Nat: Of course…

Banner: Oh, Stark.

Fury: We need all the Avengers to come help.

Loki: Have fun with that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (again I apologize for my A/Ns at the beginning/end of chapters. I was like a virgin to fanfiction at the time so... you get the idea.)

Wow! 1,427 hits in less than a day! THANK YOU SO MUCH! If you have any ideas for me plz leave a comment!

* * *

Loki: Stark... what have you done with my helmet?

Tony: Ooh, how did you know it was me?

Loki: Tell me where my helmet is before I rip off your fingernails and make you chew on them.

Tony: lol you're soo funny

Loki ;D Loki:

Stark... Tony: *imitating you* Ooh, I am the bad guy!

Loki: STARK!

Tony: Oh, fine. I gave your shitty helmet to Bruce.

Loki: Damn you, Stark. Damn you.

Tony: You're very welcome.

Loki: I hope you rot in the darkest places of your realm.

Tony: Yeah, Yeah. Whatever reindeer games.


	5. Chapter 5

Over 2,000 hits? HOLY MOTHER HEN! Anyway… I'm so grateful that so many people like my story! My life can be incomprehensibly dull sometimes, and writing funny stuff and seeing how many people enjoy my funny stuff brightens up my day! d(w)b

* * *

**Clint:** I love you Nat.

**Nat:** Yes, I know you do.

**Thor:** Aww, Midgardian love…

**Clint:** Fuck off Thor, I'm talking to my girl.

**Nat:** it's okay Clint, calm down.

**Clint:** Oh… okay. Anything you want, Nat. But, I wanted to see if you wanna go out for dinner later?

**Nat:** I'd love to, Clint.

**Clint:** ^/^ Where do you wanna go?

**Nat:** hmm… idk

**Tony:** SHAWARMA!

**Clint:** NO!

**Nat:** Why does everyone interrupt our texts?

**Thor:** Cause its funny to watch petty, love struck Clint gush over you.

**Tony:** Indeed it is.

**Nat:** Umm.. Clint, how about you just pick me up at 8 and then we'll decide where to go

**Clint:** Sure, Nat. Whatever you like.

**Nat:** Yes, I know..

**Thor:** hehehe

**Clint:** GO AWAY

**Tony:** Chill legolas.

**Clint:** STOP CALLING ME THAT! -.-


	6. Chapter 6

You have no idea how much fun this is to write xD Thanks to you all who added this to their favorites or to their alerts! I'm really excited that you want me to write more of these! Also, If you have any suggestions or requests please leave a comment or send me a message or something! Thanks to all who read this! :3

* * *

 

**Tony:** Wassup Mischief Man!

**Loki:** Oh god.

**Tony:** Guess wat… I LOV YUR HAIR!

**Loki:** I do believe you've had a little too much to drink, Stark.

**Tony:** Nah, man, IM GOD

**Loki:** Um… I  believe you mean "good" because I am the only god in this conversation, and no, you're not good.

**Tony:** IM GHSKASREJDASJM

**Loki:** What?

**Tony:** sooorry dude! I drop ma PHON!1!

**Loki:** Why must you text me when you're drunk? But, I think you're more, as you midgardians call it, "wasted".

**Tony:** Thers this gurl hear and she lookin at mee! She HAWT!

**Loki:** I am going to stop texting you now, Stark… I should have a long time ago.

**Tony:** HEHE OOKAY

**Tony:** DAYUM SHE HAWT :DD

* * *

 

Btw I have realized that I've been calling Tony Stark either "Tony" or "Stark" and I keep switching back and forth, not noticing. I may be switching the first and last names with some other characters too, so I apologize. I'm just going to call Tony Stark=Tony; Steve Rogers=Steve; Clint Barton= Clint; Natasha Romanoff= Nat; Bruce Banner= Bruce; and of course Thor Odinson=Thor and Loki Laufeyson=Loki. Thanks again for reading :D


	7. Chapter 7

 

Hiya! Okay, so Radwoman requested that have Tony Stark try to make Bruce Banner Hulk-out, via text message, so this one's for her! If anyone else has any requests or ideas for me, just leave a comment.

P.S. I love all of you who read this ^.^

* * *

**Bruce:** Hey Tony.

**Tony:** What's up?

**Bruce:** I'm just working on some projects and stuff for S.H.I.E.L.D.

**Tony:** Sounds boring.

**Bruce:** I thought you liked doing sciency stuff for S.H.I.E.L.D.?

**Tony:** I do, but S.H.I.E.L.D. does not deserve the assistance of my intellect.

**Bruce** Lol.

**Tony: …** You know what would be really fun?

**Bruce:** What?

**Tony:** If you hulked out.

**Bruce:** Tony, that would be fun for you, not for me.

**Tony:** Please?

**Bruce:** No, Tony.

**Tony:** Why not?

**Bruce:** I said no.

**Tony:** D:

**Bruce:** …

**Tony:** poke.

**Tony:** poke.

**Tony:** poke

**Tony:** poke

**Tony:** poke

**Tony:** POKE.

**Bruce:** If this is your attempt at making me go hulk, it is not working. You're just filling up my inbox.

**Tony:** I HATE YOU BRUCE YOU'RE MEAN AND I HATE YOU.

**Bruce:** … still not working.

**Tony:** I WILL FIND A WAY!

**Bruce:** Desperate much?

**Tony:** :l


	8. Chapter 8

Another update today because I love you all! Thank you for your kind words! Also, inspiration of shopping comes from the story "Chokechain" by Kamryn-Marie-Pack. Anyways, enjoy :3

* * *

**Tony:** Loki, we have an issue.

**Loki:** What is the issue stark? I do not believe I have done anything  extremely mischievous lately.

**Tony:** The issue is that if you are going to be visiting Earth so often, you should at least attempt to look normal.

**Loki:** And how do you suppose I do that?

**Tony:** I am generously offering to take you shopping.

**Loki:** Shopping, are you kidding?

**Tony:** Loki, the whole metal and leather get up is becoming pretty old. I mean, look at your brother, he wears "midgardian" clothes.

**Loki:** Don't mention my brother wearing midgardian clothes, that just makes me want to wear them less.

**Tony:** Just meet me at my tower in 30 minutes.

**Loki:** How do I know you will not attempt to attack me?

**Tony:** Just be there.

**Loki:** Oh, fine. But where exactly will you be taking me "shopping"?

**Tony:** I think Hot Topic would be perfect for you.

**Loki:** "Hot Topic"? What is this "Hot Topic"?

**Tony:** You'll see ;D

**Loki:** ugh…

**Tony:** Wait, why did you say earlier that you didn't do anything extremely misch…. WHERE IS MY IRON MAN TOOTHBRUSH!

**Loki:** Took you long enough. ;)

**Tony:** YOU BETTER FUCKING BRING IT BACK WHEN YOU COME OVER LATER!

**Loki:** Hmm… maybe. ;)


	9. Chapter 9

ANOTHER update today :DD I'm just in an Avengers mood for some reason xD If I get enough comments, I may even upload another one today ;3

* * *

**Loki:** Brother, help me. Stark has me in a pair of skinny jeans.

**Thor:** LOL. Loki, they are only skinny jeans. If Stark picked them out for you, there mustn't be anything wrong with them.

**Tony:** They do wonders for your ass.

**Loki:** Excuse me?

**Thor:**...I'll just leave you two to discuss this matter on your own.

**Tony:** Well, it's true ;)

**Loki:** I am just… not going to respond to that comment.

**Tony:** But you gotta love those green converse shoes we picked out for you. And those green v-necks.

**Loki:** Hmm… those do look good on me don't they?

**Tony:** Dude, green is SO your color.

**Loki:** Oh I KNOW it is.

**Tony:** Btw… You still owe me a toothbrush.

**Loki:** I do, don't I… Would you mind a Loki toothbrush? I picked up one at the store.

**Tony:** I guess, but only because you look great in those skinny jeans.

**Loki:** Haha, thank you Stark.

**Tony:** You can call me Tony from now on, if you'd like.

**Loki:** Thank you, Tony.

* * *

Brief moment of total diva in Tony and Loki xD And omg, I just love frostiron :DDD


	10. Chapter 10

I apologize for this being so short, but I really wanted to upload this. I hope you find it funny enough to make up for its short length. Also, if you don't like frostiron, don't read this one.

* * *

**Steve:** Tony, why have you been fraternizing with the enemy?

**Tony:** Fraternizing? It's the 21st century, Steve.

**Steve:** Why have you been "flirting" with Loki?

**Tony:** Now that's more mainstream. Good job Capt'n!

**Steve:** STARK!

**Tony:** I do believe that is personal information, Rogers. And where did you acquire this information, exactly?

**Steve:** If you must know, Thor told me.

**Tony:** Ah, point break. I will have to have a talk with him, now won't I?

* * *

Please comment if you have any requests or ideas for me!


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you for all you're comments and suggestions! They are greatly appreciated! I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING THESE!

* * *

**Nat:** Hey Steve, you're pretty close friends with Clint, right?

**Steve:** Um, yeah I guess.

**Nat:** Well, our monthly anniversary is coming up and I wanted to get him something special.

**Steve:** I see. Uh… Congratulations?

**Nat:** …Thanks… Anyway, have you heard him talking about something he really wants lately, like new arrows or something?

**Steve:** Um, let me think….

**Clint:** WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!

**Steve:**?

**Clint:** DON'T YOU "?" ME STEVE! WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO MY GIRL!

**Steve:** Uhh…

**Nat:** Clint! I was just asking Steve for some help! You really need to stop getting so

pissed when a guy who is not you has a conversation with me!

**Clint:** WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK ME FOR HELP?

**Nat:** Because it was about something to get you for our anniversary!

**Clint:** Oh…

**Nat:** Way to ruin the surprise for yourself.

**Clint:** Nat, I'm really sorry for getting so mad. It is only because I love you sooo much. Please forgive me?

**Nat:** …

**Clint:** Nat?

**Clint:** Nat?

**Clint:** Nat?

**Clint:** Nat?

**Clint:** Nat?

**Clint:** Nat?

**Clint:** :'(

**Steve:** …I think she's ignoring you.

**Clint:** Thank you, Captain Obvious!

**Steve:** I understood that reference! Wait…. :(

* * *

Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought!

For the frostiron fans, more of that coming soon!


	12. Chapter 12

Frostiron ^.^ Please comment and tell me what you think! This one if for HarleyJaneJacksonWinchester. Enjoy!

* * *

 

**Nat:** Tony?

**Tony:** Yes?

**Nat:** O.O

**Tony:** Um, what?

**Nat:** O.O

**Tony:** Please explain the O.O?

**Nat:** I came to your tower to give you some files from S.H.I.E.L.D. … but when I looked through your window, I saw… O.O

**Tony:** shit.

**Nat:** …WHY THE HELL WERE YOU KISSING LOKI?

**Tony:** fuck.

**Nat:** EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

**Tony:** Um... well, I uh... I'm not quite sure yet myself.

**Nat:** How can you not know why you fucking KISSED LOKI!

**Tony:** Shit….Please don't tell the other Avengers.

**Nat:** WHY SHOULDN'T I?

**Tony:** Because... because…. I saw you and Clint fucking in the Avengers HQ living room.

**Nat:** O.O shit.

**Tony:** Indeed.

**Nat:** O.O ... how did you...

**Tony:** Jarvis.

**Nat:** Ah...

**Tony:** Yes.

**Tony:** … If you don't tell the other Avengers you saw Loki and I, I won't tell them I saw you and Clint.

**Nat:** deal.

**Tony:** Good.

* * *

 

Btw, comments make me upload faster ^.^


	13. Chapter 13

I'm really sorry that I haven't uploaded in awhile! I'm on vacation in Florida and it's really difficult to get internet connection where I am. I apologize if this chapter isn't very good, because I really haven't had the time to sit down and write. Anyways, please leave a comment and tell me what you think! Btw, contains FrostIron ^.^

* * *

**Jarvis:** Sir, we have an intrusion.

**Tony:** What is it this time, Jarvis?

**Jarvis:** Someone has, well, 'teleported' into the living room.

**Tony:** So it's Loki then?

**Jarvis:** I believe so sir.

**Tony:** Lovely. I'll go talk to him. Jarvis, put on some tunes.

**Jarvis:** Of course.

**Loki:** What is this delicious midgardian food that you have left on your table, Tony?

**Tony:** That would be popcorn.

**Loki:** It is rather delightful.

**Tony:** Maybe I should take you to the movies then, they have tons of popcorn there.

**Loki:** Are you asking me out on a date, Tony Stark?

**Tony:** I guess I am.

**Loki:** How do you think the other Avengers would react to that?

**Tony:** They don't need to know. Besides, after our.. kiss, a date would be appropriate.

**Loki:** Hmm... Would there be any more of that on this date?

**Tony:** If you play your cards right... you could potentially get more than that.

**Loki:** Mmm, I know exactly how to do that ;)

**Tony:** Meow.

**Loki:** Why is it taking so long for you to get to your living room?

**Tony:** I just got out of the shower and I'm trying to get some clothes on.

**Loki:** Would you like some help with that?

**Tony:** Hmm, no. I think I'll make you wait until after the movies.

**Loki:** Darn.


	14. Chapter 14

I got lots of requests for Bruce and Tony stuff, so I attempted to write funny conversation between them. This one is based off Firewolf27's idea. I hope you like it! Please comment!

* * *

**Tony:** Hey Bruce, could you come to my workshop and help me with something? I'm kind of stuck in an uncomfortable predicament... stuck being the key word there.

**Bruce:** What have you done this time, Tony?

**Tony:** I, um... I got myself stuck in the lower half of my Iron Man suit...

**Bruce:** I'm curious to know exactly how you did that.

**Tony:** Well, I was running some tests on my, um, foot rockets, and so I only put on the 'pants' part of my suit. I think that the suit got stuck to my jean's zipper, and I can't get it out.

**Bruce:** So you're basically asking me, to help you get your pants off?

**Tony:** Yes.

**Bruce:** Would your boyfriend Loki be okay with that?

**Tony:** How the hell did you find out about Loki?

**Bruce:** Clint told me.

**Tony:** Fucking legolas. I'll have to have a talk with him too, now won't I...

**Bruce:** Anyway... sounds like an awkward project, but I'll help.

**Tony:** Thank you, Brucey Bruce.

**Bruce:** No prob, um... Talkative Tony.

**Tony:** Helpful Hulk.

**Bruce:** Smart-ass Stark.

**Tony:** Lol... nicknames just aren't your thing.

**Bruce:** No they are not. Lol. I'll be over soon to help you with your... pants problem.

**Tony:** Ok, thanks.

* * *

I'm really grateful for all the comments that everyone has left! I read all of them and they make me and want to write more! Keep the comments coming! And for the FrostIron fans, i'll be writing more of that soon! If you have a plot idea/suggestion please comment/PM! :DD


	15. Chapter 15

Omg I just saw the Avengers for the 5th time! I love that movie to an unhealthy extent! Also I looked the amount of faves for this story... it's 69... LOL! Anyway, this chapter/conversation is from HarleyJaneJacksonWinchester's idea! Enjoy :3

* * *

**Loki:** What are you doing with Banner?

**Tony:** ...He is helping me with something.

**Loki:** Helping you with your pants?

**Tony:** Yes... but it it's not the way it sounds.

**Loki:** Why should I believe that?

**Tony:** Because you love me?

**Loki:** **…**

**Tony:** Because I love you?

**Loki:** ...Fine, but how can I say that when Banner's hands are on your ass?

**Tony:** Um... friends with benefits?

**Loki:** I do not find that amusing.

**Tony:** He's just helping me with... er... performance issues.

**Loki:** If he doesn't take his hands off you in five seconds... The only thing stopping me from killing him is because...

**Tony:** Hulk Smash?

**Loki:** Yes.

**Tony:** Lol.

**Loki:** :(

**Tony:** Okay, i'm sorry. I got the suit off, so Bruce is leaving now.

**Loki:** Finally.

**Tony:** Now you can put your hands on my ass if you'd like ;)

**Loki:** To make up for Banner touching your ass, I very much would.

* * *

Please comment on what you thought!


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks for all the wonderful comments! I love you all! And HeartsNaruto, hehe ^.^

Hope you like! Please comment about what you think!

* * *

**Clint:** Tony...

**Tony:** Yes?

**Clint:** BAHAHAHA!

**Tony:** What the..

**Clint:** YOU AND... AND LOKI! BAHAHAHA!

**Tony:** Tell me who the fuck told you about Loki and me!

**Clint:** NAT TOLD ME EVERYTHING! SHE TOLD ME NOT TO TELL ANYONE... BUT I DID!

**Tony:** Why the fuck did you tell Bruce?

**Clint:** BECAUSE IT'S TOO FUNNY!

**Tony:** I'm going to kill you, Clint.

**Clint:** ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING?

**Tony:** Why would you even ask-

**Clint:** SO YOU ARE FUCKING! LOL!

**Tony:** I never said that!

**Clint:** YES YOU DID, LOL!

**Tony:** Fuck you, Clint. Now Thor and Steve are the only ones who don't know we're going out. Shit.

**Clint:** OOO I'M GONNA TELL STEVE!

**Tony:** You better fucking keep your mouth shut Clint.

**Clint:** WHY SHOULD I!

**Tony:** Because... Because I'll tell Nat you were hitting on some girl you met.

**Clint:** HAHAHA... OH... NO, DON'T! I LOVE HER!

**Tony:** Then you keep your mouth shut, legolas.

**Clint:** WHY DO YOU ALWAYS CALL ME THAT!

**Tony:** Because you hate it, and it's funny to see you get mad.

**Clint:** D:

* * *

Psst! Don't forget to comment! :D


	17. Chapter 17

Okay, so I had an idea bubbling in my brain, and when HarleyJaneJacksonWinchester mentioned something like it, I had to make this.

Omg I love reading your guy's comments so much! I love you all for reading these, and for taking the time to comment. I LOVE YOU ALL!

* * *

**Nat:** What the hell...

**Clint:** How the fuck did Nat and I end up in the same restaurant as you and Loki, sitting across the room from each other on our dates?

**Loki:** This should be interesting.

**Nat:** ...Or more like disturbing.

**Tony:** Lol... I bet you 10 bucks Loki and I could be a cuter couple than you and Clint.

**Clint:** You are so on.

**Nat:** I guess that means i'm in too.

**Loki:** Sounds entertaining.

**Tony:** Alright, the cutest couple contest has begun!

**Tony:** Ooh peck on the cheek, nice one Nat. Although, I think we can do better than that, can't we Loki?

**Loki:** Indeed we can.

**Tony:** Ass-grab. Boo-yah.

**Clint:** Damn.

**Loki:** Nose-snuggle? Is that the best you can do, Barton?

**Tony:** Aww, Loki is adorably lying his head on my chest. You and Nat don't even look like a couple.

**Nat:** Fuck you guys. Come on Clint, we got this.

**Tony:** …Now you're full on making out in public. Can we try to keep it PG?

**Nat:** You call guy grabbing another guy's ass PG-13?

**Clint:** You gotta give us some points for that kiss :D

**Nat:** Loki just fucking made out with you too Tony!

**Loki:** I am of Asgard... I don't know what PG-13 means ^.^

**Tony:** hehe.

**Clint:** Wait.. why are you guys whispering and giggling?

**Nat:** Now Tony's hand is on Loki's thigh...

**Clint:** Where are you guys going?

**Nat:** Holy shit.

**Clint:** Son of a...

**Tony:** …we need some privacy.

**Clint:** I KNEW THEY WERE FUCKING!

**Nat:** Shit.

**Clint:** hehehe... have fun you two XD

**Tony:** Oh we will ;)

**Loki:**...I believe it is agreeable that you owe us 10 bucks.

* * *

Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought, or if you have any suggestions/ideas/plots!


	18. Chapter 18

I realized that I made things a bit confusing about who knows Tony and Loki are in a relationship. To clarify: Steve and Thor only know that Tony was flirting with Loki, they don't know that they're in a relationship. I'm sorry if I confused anyone, because I did realize my mistake when I was writing. Anyways, enjoy :3

* * *

(All the Avengers are in the kitchen for breakfast)

**Tony:** Clint, why are you looking at me like that? Can't I just drink my morning coffee in peace?

**Clint:** Steve and Thor just walked in... hehe :3

**Tony:** You better not fucking say anything.

**Clint:** Hehe, I just might :D

**Bruce:** Don't tell Thor about Tony and Loki while he's eating his poptarts.

**Tony:** Legolas, if you say one fucking word about me and Loki-

**Nat:** Don't worry Tony, he won't say anything, will you, Clint?

**Clint:** Oh, ok. I won't say anything because you don't want me to, Nat.

**Tony:** Hehe.

**Bruce:** Lol.

**Clint:** :(

**Bruce:** Now Steve is asking why we all are texting.

**Nat:** And Thor is just staring at our phones, very confused.

**Tony:** Tell him we're... um... talking about...

**Clint:** I told him we're reciting One Direction lyrics!

**Nat:** Oh God.

**Bruce:** Steve wants to see evidence...

**Tony:** Fuck you Clint... FUCK YOU... You are so gonna pay for this... ugh... _You're_ fucking _insecure._

**Clint:** _Don't know what for!_ :D

**Nat:** :l... _You turn heads when you walk through the door._

**Bruce:** _Don't need makeup._ :P

**Tony:** _To_ fucking _cover up._

**Clint:** _Being the way that you are is enough!_ ;D

**Nat:** _Everyone else in the room can see it_... fuck this.

**Bruce:** Oh, what the hell. _EVERYONE ELSE BUT YOU!_

**Clint:** _BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE! THE WAY THAT YOU FLIP YOUR HAIR GETS_

_ME OVERWHELMED!_

**Tony:** _And when you smile at the_ fucking _ground it ain't hard to tell..._ Just fucking finish it Clint!

**Clint:** _YOU DON'T KNOW, OH OH! YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR BEAUTIFUL!_

**Tony:** Okay, Steve is horrified and he's leaving.

**Bruce:** I think I've been scarred for life.

**Nat:** I'm with you, Bruce.

**Tony:** And Thor is stumbling out of the room laughing with a mouth full of poptarts. Thank god this is

fucking over.

**Nat:** I'm terrified that we all know the words to this song...

**Bruce:** Apparently, your boyfriend has the 'One Direction Infection'.

**Tony:** LOL!

**Clint:** Dude, its a catchy song.

**Tony:** No, no its not.

**Clint:** YES IT IS!

**Nat:** Clint, calm down.

**Clint:** Oh... okay, Nat. I love you.

**Bruce:** hehe.

**Nat:** *sighs* I know you do, Clint.

**Tony:** Lol... just to be clear, we will never speak of this event to anyone.

**Bruce:** Agreed.

**Nat:** Agreed.

**Clint:** Sorry guys, I just posted our conversation to facebook!

**Bruce:** What the hell Clint?

**Tony:** WHAT THE FUCK!

**Clint:** Don't worry lover-boy, only the 1D part ;D

**Nat:** Oh, Clint..

**Tony:** You better fucking run legolas.

**Clint:** hehe... wait, you're putting on the Iron Man suit...

**Clint:** OKAY IM RUNNING NOW!

* * *

Okay, so I made all the Avengers, besides Clint, strongly dislike One Direction, probably because I don't really like them :/ Sorry if I offended any One Direction fans! I only made this to be funny :3

Please comment and tell me what you thought :D


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allright before you read this, I'm warning its inaccurate. Steve gets drunk in this one and I didn't know that he couldn't when I wrote it. Like I said, I was newbie to fanndoms at the time and hadn't seen the whole of Captian America. Apologies!

Thanks again for all the lovely comments! I love them all soooo much! This chapter/messages is from Yoru no Nx's idea. I hope you all like it!

* * *

**Nick:** Alright Avengers, you all should know that tonight is a very important Avengers promotion event, and I will be unable to attend. Therefore, I am telling you now that I want all of you on your best behavior. That means you Stark.

**Tony:** Psch, I can take care of myself, thank you very much.

**Phil:** Don't worry sir, I'll keep a close eye on them.

_-one hour later-_

**Tony:** WOO! YU GO HULK, SMASH DAT ASS!

**Clint:** I LOV DIS SONGG! *fist pumping* _STARSHIPS WER MENT TO FLYYY!_

**Nat:** Hehehe, Clint! Yur sooo funnny!

**Clint:** Thnks babe! I kno I am! xD

**Steve:** Tony, u r so ded for puttin alcohol in my dr. pepper!

**Tony:** I did tht so yu wil get WILD xDDD

**Bruce:** HULK FUCKIN SMASH!

**Tony:** Seee! Even Bruce is lettin loose!

**Steve:** Holy shit why thes hot girls followin me?

**Tony:** They think u hawt, dummy! Flirt wit themm!

**Steve:** Whaat?

**Tony:** FRATENIZE WIT THEEM!

**Steve:** Ooo.. ookay!

**Thor:** ...Am I the only not-drunk Avenger?

**Nat:** Hehehe, yesh!

**Thor:** I do not believe this will fly well with Fury.

**Clint:** U saiid FLY! _STARSHIPS WER MENT TO FLYYY!_

**Thor:** Odin Almighty.

**Thor:** Wait, where is son of Coul?

**Phil:** ALL I WANTED WAS FOR HIM TO SIGN MY VINTAGE TRADING CARDS! D':

**Thor:** What did you do to him!

**Steve:** Weel, I wuz flirtin wit som girlz and Phil kept botherin mee to sign his cards... so I ask him to sho me wher the bathrom wuz and wen we got ther I tied up his hands an lokd him in a stall! He wuz bawling his eye out!

**Thor:** Steve! That's so cruel and unlike you!

**Tony:** Welll rememmber Thor, hes drunk.

**Thor:** You are all in so much trouble, especially you Tony.

**Tony:** Tell yur brother to com take mee home cuz im drunkk.

**Thor:** Why do you want my brother to get you?

**Tony:** Cuz he's my boyfriend. DUH.

**Thor:** HE'S WHAT?

**Tony:** Here, let me spel it four u: HE. IS. MY. BOYFRND.

**Steve:** Heey! Congrats u two!

**Thor:** WHY ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BROTHER!

**Tony:** Becuz dummy, he is extrimly HAWT!

**Thor:** MAN OF IRON! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE LIED A HAND ON MY BROTHER!

**Tony:** wel his hands have ben all over me.

**Thor:** THIS IS UNACCEPTEBLE!

**Tony:** Jeez point break. Tak a chil pill.

**Thor:** HOW CAN I WHEN YOU... AH! I MUST GO FIND MY BROTHER!

**Tony:** Tel him I miss him, won't u?

**Thor:** ARGH! D:

**Phil:** WHAT ABOUT ME? DDD':

* * *

This was really, really fun to write :D And Phil is alive because we love him. Please comment! :DD

(btw please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks of lemongrab from adventure time when anyone says "this is UNACCEPTABLE!!!"


	20. Chapter 20

I got lots of requests for something like hangover messages... so this was the best I could do. I hope you like it anyways! Also, I got lots of comments saying that Steve can't get drunk, and I apologize for my mistake... We'll just have to roll with it... sorry..

* * *

 

**Tony:** Where the fuck is my coffee?

**Nat:** Get it yourself.

**Tony:** Jeez, calm down, Nat. Why aren't you with Clint?

**Nat:** Clint and Steve are both puking in the bathroom.

**Tony:** LOL.

**Bruce:** Ugh... I have a really bad headache... What the hell happened last night?

**Tony:** All I remember was... Hulk smash...

**Bruce:** Wait, what did I do?

**Nat:** ...Fury is gonna be pissed...

**Tony:** …. Hulk smash dat ass? xD

**Bruce:** Oh, no...

**Nat:** Now he's leaving. Way to embarrass him Tony.

**Tony:** Sorry, but it was too funny xD

**Nat:** Don't you remember what happened to you last night?

**Tony:** No.

**Nat:** you kind of confessed something to Thor last night...

**Tony:** ...what did I say?

**Nat:** Well... you told him about you and Loki...

**Tony:** Holy motherfucker, WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT?

**Nat:** You were drunk, remember?

**Tony:** WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? SHIT!

**Nat:** Um... well... everything...

**Tony:** NOW IS NOT THE TIME, NAT! OH SHIT, WHAT WAS THOR'S REACTION?

**Nat:** … He was really, really mad... Especially when you told him Loki's hands had been all over you...

**Tony:** Holy shit... I'm fucking screwed...

**Nat:** Yes, you are.

**Tony:** Then Thor isn't here because he probably went after Loki... SHIT.

**Nat:** Do you remember anything else that happened last night?

**Tony:** Umm... hmm….OMFG! STEVE LOCKED COULSON IN THE BATHROOM!

**Nat:** Yes, he did. Because of you.

**Tony:** Fuck... now i'm in even more trouble...

**Nat:** Lol.

**Tony:** I have to go save Loki... shit...

**Nat:** Lol... I really hope Coulson is alright...

**Phil:** I'm okay... physically... a little emotionally scarred though, but... i'm good.

**Nat:** Steve wasn't really mad at you, Phil. He was just drunk. Because of Tony.

**Phil:** Are you sure he still likes me?

**Nat:** Yes, everyone loves you, Phil :)

**Phil:** Oh, okay :D

* * *

 

EVERYONE LOVES PHIL. YES.

Requests/comments?

Okay, so, as most of you have noticed... my story got deleted :/ I still don't know why, but it made me really upset :( mainly because I lost all of your lovely reviews... anyway, I hope you guys will follow my story again, and hopefully it won't get deleted again for some unknown reason. Btw, I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING THESE!


	21. Chapter 21

HIya! It's like, almost 3 in the morning where I am and I am eating mac n cheese and watching season 2 of Sherlock… I do what I want :3 Sooo, this chapter gets a bit sad, but I hope its okay… I will get better! Yay for frostiron :D

* * *

**Thor** : Loki... WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

**Loki** : Calm down, Thor. Take a chill pill.

**Thor** : A WHAT?

**Loki:** … It's a midgardian saying.

**Thor:**... I DON'T CARE! WHERE ARE YOU?

**Loki:** Why do you need to see me so badly? Aw, do you miss me?

**Thor:** THE MAN OF IRON WAS DRUNK LAST NIGHT AND HE TOLD ME SOMETHING PERTAINING TO YOU THAT I MUST SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT! NOW!

**Loki:**...what did Tony say to you?

**Thor:** WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM TONY?

**Loki:**...I do what I want.

**Thor:** Grr…TONY TOLD ME THAT YOU AND HIM ARE... ARE... IN A... WELL, RELATIONSHIP!

**Loki:** Oh, um... er...

**Thor:** DON'T TELL ME THIS IS TRUE!

**Loki:** Well...

**Thor:** EXPLAIN!

**Tony:** Ahem, TONY FUCKING STARK IS NOW INTERRUPTING YOUR CONVERSATION! THOR, YOU BETTER NOT LAY ONE FUCKING HAND ON MY LOKI!

**Thor:** Oh, dear gods… YOU ARE ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP?

**Loki:**...Yes. I am surprised it took you this long to figure that out... You must be a lot slower than I thought, Thor.

**Thor:** I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS LOKI! THIS MUST STOP NOW!

**Tony:** IT WILL MOST DEFINETLY NOT POINT BREAK! YOU STAY OUT OF OUR BUSINESS IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT!

**Thor:** GAH! I AM LEAVING MIDGARD RIGHT NOW AND GOING TO TELL ODIN ABOUT THIS LOKI! I WILL BE BACK WITH YOUR PUNISHMENT!

**Loki:** Oh, gods…

**Tony:** HOLY SHIT! I THINK MY TOWER JUST GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!

**Loki:** Yup…That was Thor… He just left for Asgard…. I'm afraid we are in some mighty trouble Tony dear. If Odin is angerd enough when he learns of our relationship, he could potentially banish me from Midgard for eternity.

**Tony:** No... No, I... I won't let that happen Loki.

**Loki:** …It may be unavoidable.

**Tony:** I won't let them take you from me... We'll leave New York and go hide somewhere where they'll never find us.

**Loki:** Odin is king of Asgard. His powers are highly superior to everything in Midgard... He could easily find us...

**Tony:** If he takes you... I'm… I'm coming with you... Even if he sends you to jail or something terrible... I will be there with you, Loki.

**Loki:** Tony... I ... I… You can't come with me… I wouldn't allow it... I could never let you be harmed because of me…. I… I… I love you, Tony Stark.

**Tony:** …I love you too, Loki. I… I really do.

**Loki …** You know, we don't have to think about what Odin will do right now… we will have some time before he comes, if he decides to…. Hopefully not… but, lets enjoy our time together, while we can

**Tony:** Okay… good… Isn't it pretty amazing that a genious, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist like me, would confess that he loves some one… I guess I just am that much in love with you, Loki.

**Loki:** I love you very much too, Tony… And you know the way that you can be funny yet loving at the same time is very, very attractive.

**Tony:** I'm flattered ;) And Loki, I'd be delighted if you'd meet me at my tower in 15 minutes, so that you may hear me actually saying I love you :3

**Loki:** I will surely be there :)

**Tony:** ^.^

* * *

Also, of the recent chapters have been completely frostiron, so I start making some ones with interactions between the other Avengers, meaning without Tony and Loki. Frostiron will still be going on and all, just with some funny chapters in between the frostiron ones to see what's going on with the other Avengers :3

Please comment and tell me what you think!


	22. Chapter 22

Okay, I can't resist frostiron so, yeah… Sorry for those of you who don't ship tony and loki, but I ship it like fedex xD

* * *

**Odin:** This is Odin, king of Asgard. I am using my son Thor's cellular device to contact Loki. Are you getting this Loki?

**Loki: …** Yes.

**Tony:** Cell service between realms? Why didn't I think of that!

**Loki:** Tony, stay out of this, please.

**Odin:** Hello, Loki. Would this be the Tony Stark that Thor has spoken to me about? I would like to have a few words with him.

**Tony:** -.- Bring it, daddio.

**Loki:** …Odin, please, don't hurt Tony. I will take whatever punishment you choose to detain me to, but just let him be. I deeply care for Mr. Stark and I know you'll be mad about our… relationship, but please, let your anger out on me, not him.

**Odin:** Loki, son, calm. I am not angie.

**Loki:** Wait, what?

**Odin:** I said, I am not angie.

**Tony:** Who the hell is angie?

**Odin:** Wait, I mean, I am not angry. Damn these midgardian devices.

**Loki:** …You're not?

**Odin:** Not at all. Loki, I… I wanted to tell you that I support you in your relationship with Mr. Stark.

**Loki:** Wait… Why do you want to support me?

**Odin:** Because… It seems that Mr. Stark makes you very happy… something I have failed to do…

**Loki:** … Thank you, Odin.

**Clint:** D'AWWW!

**Odin: …** What was that?

**Loki:** Um… just ignore that…

**Tony:** -.- Clint…

**Odin:** Well, um, I must go now, and yell at Thor for being so rude to you two.

**Loki:** …How did you know he acted rude to us?

**Odin:** I read your messages.

**Tony:** o.o

**Loki:** Oh, um… okay…

**Odin:** It seems that Mr. Stark is very fond of you, Loki.

**Loki:** He is. As am I, of him.

**Odin:** Good. I am going to go now, so goodbye Loki.

**Loki:** Goodbye, Odin.

**Tony:** … Is he gone?

**Loki:** I believe so.

**Tony:** …YAY! YOU GET TO STAY WITH MEEE!

**Loki:** Lovely.

**Tony:** Wait, was that sarcasm?

**Loki:** No, Its just lovely that Odin approves of me being with you, Tony. Because I love you.

**Tony:** I love you too, Loki.

**Loki:** I know you do

**Tony:** Btw, we have to mess with Clint for interrupting our VERY SERIOUS conversation.

**Loki:** Okay… But don't worry Tony, I shall take care of Barton.

**Tony:** Okay, you go mischief man! ;)

**Loki:** Oh, the things you've said when you're drunk...

**Tony:** Hehe :D

* * *

More funny Tony and Loki stuff will be coming too, because I don't like sad stuff… Please comment on what you thought or if you'd like to request something! :3


	23. Chapter 23

Hiya! So it is the middle of the night and I'm posting another chapter because I don't like sleeping... But in this chapter Tony talks to Steve about the Avengers promotion thing. This is for HeartsNaruto because she asked me a really really long time ago for some Steve and Tony friendship, so Tony and Steve are finally being nice to each other in this. I hope you like it! :3

* * *

**Steve:** So...

**Tony:** So... Hey, um, how are you feeling?

**Steve:** Better.

**Tony:** Good... Sorry about getting you drunk...Have you talked to Coulson lately?

**Steve:** Not yet, but I have to apologize to him.

**Tony:** Yeah... Sorry...

**Steve:** It's okay.

**Tony:** May I ask, why are you being so nice to me, Steve?

**Steve:** Well, I remember that when I was drunk, you said that you and Loki were dating... And I was hoping you'd tell me if that's true.

**Tony:** ... It is.

**Steve:** Oh, um... Okay.

**Tony:** ... And, you're not bothered by this?

**Steve:** Well, no. I mean, if you trust Loki and you really like him... I guess I should give the guy a break.

**Tony:** Oh, well... Thanks.

**Steve:** No Prob.

**Tony:** You're a good friend Steve... A really good friend. But I recommend that you should go apologize to Coulson now, he told Natasha he was emotionally scarred.

**Steve:** Oh, yeah... Phil.

**Tony:** Uh, his first name is Agent.

**Steve:** Lol. Before I go, Tony, I'm going to warn you now that and PDA between you and Loki will not be tolerated.

**Tony:** Ugh, alright... Captain spangly attire ;D

**Steve:** ...You are so lucky that I am being sympathetic to you right now...

**Tony** : Sorry, but you should have expected that Stevie ;D

**Steve** :Oh, Tony...

* * *

I will tell you now that I will post a conversation where Steve apologizes to Phil ^.^ So please leave a comment telling me what you thought or if you have any requests/ideas! :3


	24. Chapter 24

Okay, sooo, Steve is going to apologize to Phil... that's about it! This chapter is for Verucca lucifer and shatteredhero... hope you like it! I saw the Avengers for the 7th or 8th time last night... I lost count! XD

* * *

**Steve:** Hey, um, Coulson...

**Phil:** Hi, Captain Rogers.

**Steve:** Look, uh... I want to apologize for what I did to you.

**Phil:** It's okay Captain, if anything, it was my fault.

**Steve:** How could it possibly be your fault?

**Phil:** I was annoying you, so its my fault.

**Steve:** No, Phil, no. I was drunk and being a total ass. It was terrible for me to beat you up like that. I

just want you to know how bad I feel.

**Phil:** Its okay Captain. Really, it is.

**Steve:** No, its not. Is there anything I could do for you, anything at all, as an apology for me being such a jerk?

**Phil:** Well, um... could you... sign my Captain America trading cards for me?

**Steve:** I'd love to, Phil.

**Phil:** They're a vintage set, near mint!

**Steve:** Impressive

**Phil:** Oh, hehe, thanks :3

**Steve:** No prob.

**Phil:** And one more thing Captain, do you like me? Meaning, as a friend?

**Steve:** Of course I do, Phil. You're a cool guy. And you can call me Steve, if you'd like.

**Phil:** ^.^ Okay.

**Steve:** I gtg now, bye Phil.

**Phil:** Bye... Steve :D

* * *

Yay for Phil and Steve friendship! Please comment with any thoughts/ideas/requests! :3


	25. Chapter 25

This conversation thingy is from 8fangirl8's idea! I have been really lazy lately, but I hope this is good enough!

* * *

**Tony:** Hey Brainy Bruce!

**Bruce:** Tony, I can't text you right now, I'm on a date.

**Tony:** A DATE? They grow up so fast :')

**Bruce:** Tony shut up. It's really rude for me to be texting right now.

**Tony:** I don't care. Ooo you must tell me everything about your date!

**Bruce:** Why?

**Tony:** So I can help you get laid.

**Bruce:** Oh, god Tony no! Its only our first date and I don't want to ruin it!

**Tony:** What does she look like?

**Bruce:** She's a blonde… why do you care?

**Tony:** Ooo a blonde, those ones are tricky…

**Bruce:** TONY! Omg don't you have better things to do than text me while I'm on a date?

**Bruce:** Go text your boyfriend. Where is he anyway?

**Loki:** I'm right here, Banner.

**Bruce:** Why?

**Loki:** I'm with Tony, and I have been reading your whole conversation. It's very amusing.

**Bruce:** Can't you both just LEAVE ME ALONE!

**Clint:** Uh oh Bruce is getting ANGRY!

**Bruce:** FUCK OFF! ALL OF YOU! MY DATE JUST LEFT ME BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS FUCKING TEXTING ME!

**Tony:** What the hell Clint?

**Clint:** RANDOMNESS!

**Loki:** …I think it would be smart to stop annoying Banner now.

**Bruce:** OMG YOU GUYS! GRRASDFGAHDKSDJAHLIUGFALSDHC

**Tony:** Oh, shit.

**Bruce:** JEGKBLIZUGJDLZURGZSEJUGZ

**Tony:** In my defense… it was Clint's fault.

**Clint:** Was not!

**Bruce:** UHNKSERYGYKJBNGHUWEF

**Tony:** Clint, why don't you go help our large green friend with his texting? You're not doing anything important right now.

**Clint:** D: NO! Tony you're a… MEANIE!

**Tony:** Meanie? I prefer smart-ass.

**Clint:** :(

**Loki:** Lol.

**Bruce:** KJGVLKFGNBURTSBRHSTBSYJHVLH!1!

**Tony:** Its okay buddy, I know that your fingers are too big for your phone.

**Bruce:** FUUUUUUU

**Tony:** :( That's not very nice.

**Loki:** At least he made a word, sort of. That's quite an accomplishment.

**Tony:** Lol, it is. xD

* * *

Please comment with any requests/thoughts/ideas! Yay random Clint!


	26. Chapter 26

Okay, I'm really, really sorry that I haven't updated in a long time. I've had lots of soccer practice and stuff lately, and I'm just lazy… but on the Brightside, this story has gotten over 100 reviews! Thank you guys sooo much! I love you all :DD I'm extremely excited about the amount of reviews, so I'm going to list the names of everyone who reviewed! I hope you guys continue to enjoy this story, and please continue to leave comments! (this is based off HarleyJaneJacksonWinchester's idea and some ideas/input from HeartsNaruto!)

* * *

HeartsNaruto; Yoru no Nx; Lena7623; Loki-Vainglorious; luvxas37; Unknown By All; Post U Later; Malakianlover; Werewolf-Lover423; Lokitty13; RachelBanner; Deathly Aura; LindseyxxxRocks; joeperrysbabe; Rosalie; Hyrulia0Ranor; Mrs Billy Pratt; MsDaem0n; Chillygaze the warrior; shatteredhero; GilbertBeilschmidtsgirl; Tflover323; 8fangirl8; Katherine; SassyLadyStriking; HarleyJaneJacksonWinchester; Steph5756lovestwilight; Sey-chan; Verucca Lucifer; PeaceHeart13; silverpedals1402; GhostNappa99; HowWonderfulLifeIs; YaOiLoVeR9; L0llyp0p; flamingbunnies; WatsWitDaMonkey; abetha0808; Bunnyshadow; Avenger Gurl; ; vampluvr'96; Cat; and all the Guests who reviewed! I love you guys!

* * *

**Tony:** Why did Fury call us to this stupid meeting?

**Nat:** To yell at us.

**Steve:** Why does he need to yell at us?

**Bruce:** Because of Tony.

**Clint:** Lolz! What did you do this time, Tony?

**Tony:** For your information, I was using my geniousness to create new missles to shoot from my iron man suit.

**Bruce:** … But when he was testing them one backfired and destroyed thousands of dollars in lab equipment.

**Nat:** Ugh, really Tony?

**Thor:** LOLWO!

**Clint:** What?

**Steve:** … I think he made his own texting acronym.

**Tony:** Thanks, captain obvious :P

**Steve:** :(

**Thor:** It means, Laughing Out Loud With Odin!

**Tony:** *sighs* Thor, it was hard enough for you to learn how to text, don't try to be cool with it.

**Loki:** Lol.

**Clint:** Loki even knows how to use texting words!

**Loki:** Barton, I am obviously much more intellectually and technically evolved than Thor will ever be.

**Tony:** That's mainly because I taught you "Midgardian" science.

**Bruce:** … I helped teach him too :P

**Tony:** But I taught him Astrophysics and Engineering :P

**Bruce:** And I taught him Biochemistry and Biophysics :P

**Nat:** Guys shut up! I don't want to listen to your nerd war.

**Clint:** It makes my brain hurt.

**Tony:** Oh, sorry. I guess I'll have to apologize for my massive intellect.

**Steve:** Tony, quit bragging.

**Tony:** I'm not bragging, I'm just expressing my knowledge in a means of showing off.

**Bruce:** *sighs*

**Tony:** Anyway, this meeting better end soon, cause I've got a date.

**Nat:** Ooo, where are you guys going?

**Tony:** I'm taking Loki to a very fancy and romantic restaurant.

**Loki:** I can't wait ;)

**Steve:** Guys, can we please not talk about that here?

**Clint:** Lol, does it embarrass you Steve? Does it? DOES IT?

**Steve:** No! I just… um…

**Clint:** Omg your face is turning red!

**Bruce:** ROLF!

**Thor:** LOLWO!

**Tony:** Aw, Steve. Our little virgin xD And Thor, that's still not funny.

**Clint:** Soooo Tony, how are things with you and Loki?

**Tony:** If you really want to know, we're often quite busy ;)

**Nat:** o.o

**Thor:** O.O

**Bruce:** tmi…

**Clint:** Er…

**Loki:** Um… Tony, dear, you really shouldn't tell you friends about the, uh.. intimate details of our relationship.

**Tony:** Sorry babe, but their reactions are too funny xD

**Steve:** OMG! STOP IT! AHH! TMI TMI TMI!

**Clint:** …Lol.

**Bruce:** Weell… its good to know that you are both, um, happy in your… relationship.

**Tony:** Thanks, Buddy Bruce for being so supportive, unlike some other people..

**Nat:** Um, Tony, Fury is giving you the evil eye…

**Tony:** He'll never see that I'm texting. I'm in his blind spot.

**Bruce:** …He can turn.

**Tony:** …O SHIT, O SHIT, O SHIT! HE WANTS TO SEE OUR MESSAGES!

**Thor:** And he knows we were all texting….

**Tony:** HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT ME AND LOKI! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!

**Clint:** I told him we're reciting One Direction lyrics!

**Bruce:** Nooo!

**Tony:** OH SHIT, EVERYONE BETTER DO THIS! FUCKING START IT CLINT!

**Clint:** This is for you, Nat! _I've tried playing it cool, but when I'm looking at you, I can't ever be brave cause you make my heart race._

**Tony:** _Shot me out of the sky, you're my kryptonite, you keep making me weak_ , _yeah, frozen and_ fucking _can't breathe._

**Bruce:** :/ … _Something's gotta give now._

**Nat:** _Cause I'm dying just to make you see_ (how gay One Direction is :P)

**Tony:** _That I need you_ fucking _here now._

**Steve:** _Cause you've got that, one thing_.

**Clint:** _So, get out, get out get out of my head, and fall into my arms instead!_ :DDD

**Thor:** Um… _And I don't, I don't, don't know what it is_.

**Nat:** _But I need that one thing_ … not you, Clint

**Tony:** _And you've got that,_ fucking _thing!_ enough of this shitty song.

**Bruce:** Thank god it's over, uhh that song is terrible.

**Clint:** :( Why don't you need me Nat?

**Nat:** Because you made me think of this retarted song.

**Clint:** I'm sorry! D:

**Loki:** …That was very entertaing.

**Steve:** Hey, why didn't Loki have to participate?

**Loki:** I do what I want.

**Tony:** Yup ;D

**Nat:** Did you show Fury the messages?

**Tony:** Yes, and we can leave he said. Date night here I come!

**Fury:** Just so you're all aware, you're whole conversation has been hacked into and recorded, so it will be fully reviewed by me.

**Bruce:** … uh, oh.

**Nat:** :/

**Clint:** Hawkward…

**Thor:** Oh, dear Odin…

**Steve:**...

**Loki:** … This is not looking good for us, Tony.

**Tony:** … Yes, I know. Fuck.

* * *

I apologize if this chapter isn't that good, I wrote it kind of quick and I am really tired right now :/ Please review about what you thought! :3


	27. Chapter 27

This chapter is from **Lena7623** 's idea! I'm gonna call this a filler chapter… anyway I hope it is funny enough :3 Btw, thanks sooo much for your guys's comments! They motivate me to write more and upload faster! :D

* * *

**Phil:** OMG, OMG, MARIA! THE MOST AMAZING THING JUST HAPPENED!

**Maria:** Let me guess, it has something to do with Steve?

**Phil:** YES! HE SIGNED MY CAPTAIN AMERICA TRADING CARDS!

**Maria:** That's great Phil :)

**Phil:** I KNOW! AND WHEN HE FINISHED SIGNING ALL 53 OF THEM, HE SMILED AT ME AND SHOOK MY HAND! :DD

**Maria:** You have 53 Captain America trading cards? You are a lot more obsessed with him than I thought…

**Phil:** BUT THEN THE BEST PART WAS WHEN HE SAID TO ME THAT WE COULD HANG OUT SOME TIME!

**Maria:** That's really cool Phil, um… I gtg soon, I have to pick up a new eye patch for Fury. Apparently Tony was texting Loki about something and it got Fury pissed, and then his head swelled and his eye patch snapped. Lol.

**Phil:** OH, BUT WAIT! THE BEST, BEST PART WAS THAT I USED MY RECORDER TO RECORD STEVE TALKING! NOW I CAN LISTEN TO HIS VOICE!

**Maria:** That's wonderful, Phil… and a little weird, but, good for you :)

**Phil:** I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW THAT I COULD WATCH THE CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE FOR THE 183RD TIME!

**Maria:** Wait… you watched that movie 182 times?

**Phil:** YEAH, AND I SAW IT 62 TIMES WHEN IT WAS IN THEATERS! XD

**Maria:** Wow, you really are a true Captain America fan… and it's kind of creeping me out, but, I uh, gtg. Ttyl Phil.

**Phil:** HEHE, OKAY. BYE! :3

* * *

Please comment with any thoughts/suggestions/ideas! :3


	28. Chapter 28

Tony vs. Fury. BRING IT ON!

* * *

**Fury:** STARK WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU AND LOKI?

**Tony:** Oh, uh, funny story that is, um..

**Fury:** HE IS THE ENEMY!

**Tony:** Correction, WAS the enemy.

**Fury:** HE IS A THREAT!

**Tony:** I know, but I, uh…

**Fury:** YOU WHAT?

**Tony:** I, um…

**Fury:** WHAT?

**Tony:** I lo- I'm… er… using him.

**Fury:** -.-

**Tony:** I mean, using him to… um, help us..

**Fury:** AND HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING THAT, STARK?

**Tony:** I will explain. But first, stop texting in all caps. I don't like being shouted at.

**Fury:** Grr… You just better fucking explain yourself Stark.

**Tony:** Calm down Fury. I know how badly you just wanna live up to that name of yours.

**Fury:** GET ON WITH IT STARK!

**Tony:** Be careful not to snap your eye patch again. Yeah, Agent told me about that.

**Fury:** STARK! Wait… Agent?

**Tony:** Yes, Agent Coulson. His first name is Agent.

**Fury:** … Whatever, QUIT CHANGING THE TOPIC AND EXPLAIN!

**Tony:** Ugh, fine… Well, when Loki is with me, he's not destroying stuff, right? So, I think me keeping him… busy, is a good thing.

**Fury:** … I am trying to figure out whether or not to trust you about this. *sighs*

**Tony:** Nick, you can TOTALLY trust me on this.

**Fury:** NEVER call me that again.

**Tony:** … Sorry. Just trying to be nice…

**Fury:** Ugh, I've had enough of listening to your ego, Stark. Its giving me a headache. I'm going to trust you with Loki, but only for now. You better not screw up and get him wanting to destroy earth again. Goodbye.

**Tony:** Don't worry. I can handle Loki perfectly well ;)

**Fury:** *facepalm*

* * *

Please leave a comment/idea/suggestion! :3


	29. Chapter 29

This one is based off **8fangirl8** 's idea! With some assistance (and annoyance) from HeartsNaruto. And HeartsNaruto is currently staring over my shoulder like a creeper :/ (HeartsNaruto: HEY! I'm not creeping, I'm helping. Erm... attempting to help. I do believe I do more harm than help, however. My apologies.) Anyways, Hope you like! Btw, this story reached 100 alerts today! Thanks so much! I love you guys!

* * *

**Tony:** You know guys, ever since I made Fury break his eye patch, I stared to wonder how he got that eye patch in the first place. Any ideas?

**Bruce:** Maybe he was experimenting with some chemicals and he didn't wear protective goggles, so he got splashed in the eye.

**Tony:** But he's a spy, not a scientist. He probably doesn't even know the difference between Ununpentium and Ytterbium. Lolz.

**Bruce:** True that! Haha!

**Clint:** ?

**Nat:** ... Um, I have an idea.

**Tony:** shoot.

**Nat:** Well, Fury told me about this time that he broke into a palace and had to steal a diamond encrusted fork. Maybe when he was escaping he accidentally poked himself in the eye with it.

**Bruce:** Lol.

**Tony:** Interesting assesmemt... Anyone else got an idea?

**Thor:** Ooo, maybe he was in a fierce battle with Bilgesnipe, and one of its antlers poked him in the eye.

**Tony:** ... a what?

**Thor:** A Bilgesnipe. You don't have those?

**Tony:** … Don't think so.

**Thor:** Well, they are repulsive.

**Tony:** Okay, um… anyway, how about you Steve? Got any ideas?

**Steve:** I don't know...

**Tony:** Come on, be creative, Cap!

**Steve:** We really shouldn't be talking about Fury behind his back. He might find out.

**Tony:** He'll never know. And you don't always have to act so polite and innocent. It's dull.

**Steve:** :( ... Well, maybe a certain billionaire irritated Fury so much causing him to facepalm, but his fury got the best of him and when he went to facepalm really hard, he poked himself in the eye.

**Nat:** Haha :)

**Thor:** LOLWO!

**Clint:** LMAO!

**Bruce:** Lol.

**Tony:** ... You've got a good point there... But you know what I think?

**Steve:** And what do you think, Tony?

**Tony:** I think Fury was just so desperate to be cool, that he got an eye patch to make him look badass.

**Clint:** I've got an idea!

**Tony:** What is it?

**Clint:** Maybe his parents were pirate enthusiasts! And they made him wear an eye patch!

**Thor:** LOLWO!

**Bruce:** LOL!

**Nat:** Omg xD

**Steve:** Hahaha!

**Tony:** Lol, I hate to admit it, but good one, Clint.

**Fury:** I agree, good one, Agent Barton.

**Clint:** Oh, NOOO!

**Tony:** Shit.

**Fury:** You will all pay.

**Steve:** ... I told you guys he'd find out.

* * *

Please comment with thoughts/comments/suggestions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (pirate enthusiast? I'm sorry, what was I thinking..)


	30. Chapter 30

 

Hiya! Okay, I wanna thank all you readers for OVER 200 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, and I'm so grateful of all of you who enjoy this story! Again I will list the names of everyone who has reviewed so far, and maybe someday we can reach 300 reviews! I can't tell you guys how happy I am when I read your reviews! THANK YOU SO MUCH! *hugs for you all*

HeartsNaruto; Yoru no Nx; Lena7623; Loki-Vainglorious; luvxas37; Unknown By All; Post U Later; Malakianlover; Werewolf-Lover423; Lokitty13; RachelBanner; Deathly Aura; LindseyxxxRocks; joeperrysbabe; Rosalie; Hyrulia0Ranor; Mrs Billy Pratt; MsDaem0n; Chillygaze the warrior; shatteredhero; GilbertBeilschmidtsgirl; Tflover323; 8fangirl8; Katherine; SassyLadyStriking; HarleyJaneJacksonWinchester; Steph5756lovestwilight; Sey-chan; Verucca Lucifer; PeaceHeart13; silverpedals1402; GhostNappa99; HowWonderfulLifeIs; YaOiLoVeR9; L0llyp0p; flamingbunnies; WatsWitDaMonkey; abetha0808; Bunnyshadow; Avenger Gurl; vampluvr'96; Cat; Xionshalllive; Lemonysh; cucumbersrockursocks; XameliaX; LunaTheLoneWolf; NIMONDRELL-NIM; 1; kettle cooked; ; vampyrefaerie524; MysticFantasy; Evee A Guest 3; Bene-C; lost-sentiments; Rowanrules41; TheRangersArrow; Raychaell Dionzeros; CanYouspellLoki'd; PeryJacksonTheAwesome; avengers lover; mycatsaninja47; Rainbow Username; SilverPedals14; JustAnotherKidFromTumblr; angelcullen1997; BunBunBabe; Lupin fan1; Ramonks33; HazeleyeandHerminoe; OnlyConsultingWriter; DBZGIRL111; Aruyn; ByaSouthernLady; Leonidas Raistlin Knowitall; avengerslover; and all the Guests! I love all you guys so freakin much!

Now, on with the chapter!

* * *

**Clint:** Who's up for a game of LASER TAG?!

**Tony:** Oh, it is ON. But you're gonna lose Clint, cause I have formed an alliance.

**Bruce:** With who?

**Tony:** Loki ;3

**Loki:** Indeed mortals ;)

**Tony:** Hell yes *fistpump* TEAM SEXY!

**Loki:** ;)

**Clint:** ...Well, **I** formed an alliance with Nat!

**Nat:** Clint, I never agreed to that.

**Clint:** :( pwease?

**Nat:** Ugh, fine.

**Clint:** Yay :) TEAM AWESOME!

**Nat:** That's a terrible team name.

**Clint:** TEAM SPIES!

**Nat:** *sighs*

**Thor:** Well, Steve and I have formed an alliance of sorts.

**Steve:** Yeah! TEAM RIPPED!

**Thor:** *flexes muscles* WOOT!

**Bruce:** … Thanks for leaving me out guys.

**Nat:** Aw, poor Bruce :(

**Tony:** ...You're not exactly alone ya know.

**Bruce:** What do you mean?

**Tony:** I mean, you've got the Hulk, don't you? He's like, awesome.

**Bruce:** *sigh* Tony, I can't hulk out during laser tag. That would be terrible.

**Tony:** It's just an idea... Anyways, lets get this game started!

**Thor:** How do I use this... um, thing?

**Tony:** … You mean the gun? You just pull the trigger.

**Thor:** Where is this trigger you speak of?

**Tony:** *sighs* Clint, go help Thor.

**Clint:** Why me?

**Tony:** Because you're not doing anything important.

**lint:** Hey! For your information, Nat and I were just making out :P

**Nat:** CLINT!

**Bruce:** O.o

**Tony:** Thanks... I really needed to know that… Just, go help Thor.

**Clint:** Ugh, otay :P

**Steve:** Can someone please tell me what these things are that we have to wear?

**Tony:** They are called sensors, buddy.

**Steve:** Oh...

**Tony:** … You have no clue what that means, do you?

**Steve:** Nope.

**Tony:** Well.. im not going to explain that so, lets just get the game started.

**Clint:** I'll put on some tunes!

**Nat:** Oh, god…

**Clint:** _LET'S GO TO THE BEACH, EACH, LET'S GO GET AWAY! THEY SAY, WHAT THEY GONNA SAY? HAVE A DRINK, CLINK, FOUND THE BUD LIGHT! BAD BITCHES LIKE ME, IS HARD TO COME BY!_ :DD

**Tony:** Whatever… Okay, ready, set GO!

**Clint:** _THE PATRON, OWN, LET'S GO GET IT ON! IN THE ZONE, OWN, YES I'M IN THE ZONE! IS IT TWO,_ _THREE, LEAVE A GOOD TIP! I'MA BLOW ALL MY MONEY AND DON'T GIVE TO SHITS!_

**Steve:** Thor, head to the north side of the arena!

**Thor:** On it!

**Tony:** *BBZTT*

**Thor:** Hey!

**Tony:** Don't text your game plan where everyone can see it.

**Bruce:** WTF I'm shooting Loki but nothing is happening!

**Loki:** It's a clone, Banner. Ehehe ;P

**Tony:** Nice one babe ;D

**Loki:** Thank you ;)

**Clint:** _I'M ON THE FLOOR, FLOOR, I LOVE TO DANCE!_ _SO GIVE ME MORE, MORE, 'TILL I CAN'T STAND! GET ON THE FLOOR, FLOOR, LIKE IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE! IF YOU WANT MORE, MORE, THAN HERE I AM!_

**Nat:** Omfg Clint, stop ratting out our hiding spots with your singing!

**Clint:** I'm not ratting us out!

**Thor:** *BBZTT*

**Nat:** Grr...

**Clint:** sorry Nat :( *BBZTT*

**Tony:** Where the hell did you just shoot me from, Clint!

**Clint:** Up here! XD

**Tony:** How the fuck did you get up there?

**Clint:** I'ma BIRD motherfucker, I'MA BIRD! XD

**Nat:** Lol..

**Tony:** *BBZTT*

**Loki:** *BBZTT*

**Steve:** Hey! :( You guys can't gang up on me, it's not nice.

**Tony:** I am not a nice person.

**Loki:** And **I** am the bad guy ;3Ehehehe xD

**Bruce:** *BBZTT*

**Tony:** Hey! I'm coming for you… Brilliant Bruce!

**Bruce:** Hehe xD

**Nat:** Clint! survelliance?

**Clint:** Bruce is heading to the South side of the arena!

**Bruce:** Shit.

**Tony:** We're coming for you Brucey!

**Clint:** _STARSHIPS WERE MEANT TO FLY! HANDS UP, AND TOUCH THE SKY! CAN'T STOP, 'CAUSE WE'RE SO HIGH! LET'S DO THIS ONE MORE TIME! Oooooo_... wait... someone just came into the arena?

**Steve:** Who is it?

**Clint:** … Holy fuck, IT'S FURY!

**Fury:** Run bitches.

**Clint:** And he's got... DUAL LASER GUNS! AHH!

**Fury:** *BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT BBZTT*

**Clint:** AHHH!

**Bruce:** :(((

**Nat:** DD:

**Thor:** NOO!

**Steve:** WAHH! :'(

**Fury:** Ah, that was fun. But where's Tony and Loki?

**Tony:** Heyy,Nicki!

**Clint:** Minaj! STARSHIPS WERE MEANT TO FLY!

**Nat:** Clint, shut up!

**Clint:** :(

**Fury:** Where the hell are you and Loki?

**Tony:** We teleported!

**Fury:** And where did you teleport to?

**Tony:** … an undisclosed location xD

**Loki:** And we're watching some dreadful midgardian tele show...

**Tony:** It's not dreadful... it's America's Next Top Model :3

**Clint:** HAHAHA!

**Nat:** Lol Tony!

**Bruce:** That show sucks...

**Tony:** Does not :p

**Bruce:** Yes, it does.

**Tony:** DOES NOT!

**Bruce:** DOES TO!

**Steve:** Tony.. be careful...

**Tony:** ANTM IS AWESOME!

**Bruce:** NO IT'S NOOTTT! RYGFCBHDSJKUHVNKLGUNBSAW

**Steve:** AHHH!

**Thor:** AHHH!

**Clint:** EEEEEK!

**Nat:** AHHH!

**Fury:** AHHHHH! FUCK U TONY!

**Bruce:** UFHGVIULYTRKN XALSJG BREIU

**Loki:** Lol, you can be exceptionally mischievous sometimes, Tony ;)

**Tony:** … could me being mischievous be a turn on?

**Loki:** hmm... maybe ;)

**Tony:** ;D

**Steve:** EW EW EW YOU GUYS! STOP MAKING OUT!

**Tony:** Wtf? why are you here?

**Steve:** I WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM THE HULK AND I CAME BACK HERE! WE NEED YOUR HELP!

**Tony:** Well, im not helping. If you can't tell, Loki and I are... having a moment ;)

**Loki:** Yes ;) Now if you could please give us some privacy, Captain.

**Tony:** Hehe ;) Come here, you...

**Steve:** HOLY FUDGE, PDA PDA PDA! AHHH!

**Tony:** … I think he's gone c;

**Loki:** Finally, alone at last ;)

**Tony:** Hehe ;D

* * *

 

Please leave a comment/suggestion/request! Anyone else watching the olympics closing ceremony? I freaking love Britian/UK soo much 3 I was even singing God Save the Queen in the beginning :3 (even though I'm American xD)

Also, the idea of Tony watching America's Next Top Model came from my friend HeartsNaruto, who made me LOLWO when she told me she watched a marathon of that show xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Tobuscus refrence, anyone?)


	31. Chapter 31

Hiya guys! I'm really really really really really reallyreally really REALLY SORRY, that I haven't written a chapter in FOREVER. I had a pretty busy summer (I went to Conneticut and met BRITISH PEOPLE and they were so amazing I almost died) and I recently started highschool, which has made me really stressed lately. Instead of listing a whole bunch of other excuses, I'll let you read the chapter now. Enjoy :3

* * *

**Clint:** Heyyy Nat!

**Nat:** Hi Clint…

**Clint:** Sooo I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie with me later?

**Nat:** It depends… what movie?

**Clint:** Hmm… how about The Bourne Legacy?

**Nat:** Nah, I want to see something scary.

**Clint:** But did you even SEE that guy in The Bourne Legacy? He was like, totally BEAST in the trailer. And he was quite handsome, if I do say so myself x3

**Nat:** Uh, no. Let's go see The Woman in Black. I heard it was terrifying.

**Clint:** Um… well… I guess we can see that… if you really want to…

**Nat:** I do. Pick me up at 7?

**Clint:** Yeah, sure… anything for you Nat.

**Nat:** Yes... I know.

* * *

**Nat:** The movie is starting! I'm so excited!

**Clint:** Yeah… Uh, me too.

**Nat:** Um, are you alright Clint?

**Clint:** Fine, fine.. I'm perfectly fin- *EEK*

**Nat:** … That was just the music starting..

**Clint:** Sorry, sorry, I uh, just get a little… 'edgy' during scary movies…

**Nat:** Wait.. don't tell me you're afraid of horror movies.

**Clint:** I am NOT afrai- Ow, what the hell? I just got hit in the back of the head with popcorn!

**Nat:** Do you hear giggling?

**Tony:** HAYY GUYS!

**Loki:** Ehehehe xD

**Clint:** Wtf, why are you guys here?

**Loki:** Well, it seems we have chosen to attend the same movie. Coincidentally, of course.

**Nat:** You guys are creepers, you followed us here! :P

**Tony:** NO, We got in the theater FIRST so we could get the best seats :DD

**Clint:** The back row?

**Loki:** It's the couples' hot spot, don't you know, Barton? ;)

**Clint:** *Rolls eyes*

**Tony:** Indeed, it is the couples' hot spot c;

**Loki:** Mhm ;)

**Nat:** Tisk, tisk. PDA you guys, Steve wouldn't approve.

**Tony:** Since when do I care about what Captain Spandex approves and disapproves of?

**Loki:** He doesn't.

**Tony:** ;D

**Clint:** Jeez, can you guys stop texting me? I'm trying to watch the mov- AHHHH!

**Nat:** Omg, Clint…

**Tony:** EEEEK!

**Nat:** Lol, you too, Tony? I would never have guessed you'd be afraid of scary movies..

**Tony:** I AM NOT AFRAID. I'm just… jumpy…

**Nat:** Yeah, su-

**Tony:** AH AH AHHHHH!

**Nat:** Lol.

**Loki:** Oh, Tony. It's okay *hugs*

**Tony:** ;3

**Clint:** *whimpers* Nat? *cue puppy dog face*

**Nat:** No.

**Clint:** :(

**Tony:** hehe ;P

**Clint:** :( … EWW OH GOD, SHE'S SPITTING UP BLOOD! EWWWWWWW!

**Tony:** HOLY FUCK OH GOD EWWWWW!

**Nat:** You guys are such wimps.

**Tony:** AHHHH!1 WHY THE FUCK DOES HE GO BACK INTO THE FUCKING CREEPY HOUSE A AFTER HE SAW A FUCKING GHOST!?

**Clint:** OMG, STUPID PEOPLE IN HORROR MOVIES WITH ALL THEIR FUCKING BAD DECISIONS! THAT IS WHY YOU DIE PEOPLE! LEARN YOUR FUCKING LESSON! AHHHHHHHHHH!

**Nat:** Omg, Clint...

**Clint:** I'M SORRY NAT, I JUST... GYAAAHHHHH! *jumps into Nat's lap*

**Tony:** You guys having fun? x3

**Nat:** Clint, GTFO

**Clint:** ;_; BUT IT'S SO SCARYYY ;_;

**Nat:** No, it's not. The plot line is pathetic, the timing is terrible, and it is really slow.

**Clint:** ;_;

**Nat: …**

**Clint:** ;_;

**Nat:** *sighs* you're so lucky you're cute...

**Clint:** *sniffles* you think I'm cute?

**Nat:** Of course you are, dumbass *kiss*

**Clint:** Hehe ^.^

**Nat:** ^.~

**Clint:** … can we leave now?

**Nat:** You mean before you scream like a little girl again?

**Clint:** ... Yeah.

**Nat:** Lolz. At least you're manly enough to admit it. And fine, we can leave.

**Clint:** :3 What about Tony and Loki? Haven't heard from them in awhile.

**Nat:** *looks back* They're um... oh... o.o

**Clint:** ... O.O hot spot... right...

**Loki:** Stop staring, you creepers. ;P

**Tony:** x)

* * *

OMG, the Avengers comes out on DVD in LESS THAN A WEEK! WHO ELSE IS PUMPED? :DD IN other news, I recently got a Loki action figure and I love him so much :3 yes, I had to tell you all that :D Ooo, AND when I was in Connecticut, I took a little black horse around with me and took pictures of him everywhere calling it 'the adventures of Loki and Sleipnir'. I'm weird. Hehe.

BTW, in a scene in the movie The Bourne Legacy, Jeremy Renner says 'i'll take the nest' which was AWESOME! Me and HeartsNaruto saw that movie opening day to support Jeremy! We love ya Clint!

Please leave a comment with thoughts, suggestions, ideas! I missed you guys!


	32. Chapter 32

Okay, you guys have every right to be mad at me for not updating for like two months. I really don't want to end this story though, so that's why I will continue it, even though my updates take so long. I really hope you guys will keep reading this story (& reviewing!) because it's fun for me to write it. Anyways, this is a kinda, sorta, Halloween chapter. I would have uploaded it last week, but my power was out since hurricane Sandy :/ and my internet still doesn't work right since the storm :( but I apologize if this chapter isn't good, because I have major writers block. But enjoy!

NOTE: Wolverine's real name is Logan, just telling ya in case anyone didn't know, since it'll come up in the chapter :3

* * *

**Nick:** All right Avengers, the time has come for another event I need you all to show up at. Tonight is Marvel's annual Halloween party. The Fantastic Four and the X-Men will be there too. Therefore, I do not want what happened at the last event you all attended to happen again at this one. If you all get wasted again, there will be some serious consequences, consisting of a good ass-whooping.

**Tony:** Don't worry Nickles, we'll behave

**Bruce:** Doubt it

**Steve:** Don't be such a negative nancy. We can handle it

**Clint:** Looks who's talking, Mr.I-crushed-Phil's-pheels

**Steve:** … That will NOT happen again

**Clint:** Doubt it ;D

* * *

**Mystique:** Hey, you're cute ;)

**Clint:** Hi… you're blue

**Mystique:** Haha, you're sooo funny ;)

**Clint:** … thanks

**Mystique:** Ooo you look really strong too *feels muscles* wow ;)

**Clint:** Um, listen I kinda-

**Mystique:** So what's your superpower?

**Tony:** BAHAHAHA

**Clint:** -.- I uh… shoot arrows

**Mystique:** What kind of arrows? Sexy arrows I think ;)

**Clint:** No… arrows with bombs, and grappling hooks, and-

**Mystique:** hm, yes, very fascinating, but anyway, what do you say we go in the back and maybe... mess around a bit ;)

**Clint:** Um, ya see, the thing is-

**Nat:** Clint

**Clint:** I have a-

**Nat:** CLINT

**Mystique:** *strokes hand down his face*

**Nat:** CLINT!

**Clint:** GIRLFRIEND, girlfriend! I have a very beautiful.. and scary.. girlfriend, that I love very, very much… sorry… gtg, bye

**Mystique:** :(

* * *

**Clint:** … um, hey, Nat!

**Nat:** *slaps him across face*

**Clint:** … I deserved that

**Tony:** BAHAHAHA

* * *

**The Human Torch:** O.O

**Steve:** O.O

**The Human Torch:** WHOA

**Steve:** WOAH

**The Human Torch:** you and I could be like…

**Steve; The Human Torch:** TWINS

**The Human Torch:** Hey man, what do you say we go have a few drinks?

**Steve:** I really shouldn't…

**The Human Torch:** C'mon man, I'll even help you pick up some chicks

**Steve:** But-

**The Human Torch:** come with me *drags him over to the bar*

**Clint:** Uh oh… ^.^

* * *

**Bruce:** So, do you always look like… that?

**The Thing:** ILUHRVWRIEURTGUSGJNSD

**Bruce:** …I see.

* * *

**Tony:** Well, well, here we meet again

**Wolverine:** *grunts*

**Tony:** Oh, so that's all I get? A grunt?

**Wolverine:** Go fuck yourself.

**Tony:** Hey, I can play the fucking cursing game pretty damn well too, big guy

**Loki:** Tony, there is no need for that kind of language, dearie

**Tony:** *pouts* He started it..

**Wolverine:** …who's that?

**Loki:** *puts a hand around Tony's waist*

**Wolverine:** ?

**Tony:** *leans head on shoulder cutely*

**Wolverine:** ?

**Tony:** *sighs* Loki, this is Logan. Asshole, this is my boyfriend, Loki. Oh sorry, I mean Logan. Even though most people would rather address you as asshole…

**Wolverine:** -.-

**Loki:** …How very unpleasant to meet you

**Wolverine:** Seems like the feeling's mutual.

**Tony:** Hm, yeah well, Loki just so happens to be a super badass norse god

**Wolverine:** And I care why?

**Tony:** Well, he could beat your ass at anything

**Wolverine:** So is this a challenge?

**Loki:** It seems so.

**Tony:** Well, we have to go help our friend Stevie right now, since he's is dancing on the bar with Torchie. Therefore, we shall have to schedule our challenge for another day.

**Wolverine:** Thank god you're leaving. By the way, fuck you.

**Tony:** Sorry, I'd much rather prefer having Loki fuck me than you, babe. But thanks for the offer ;*

**Wolverine:** -.-

* * *

**Thor:** Man of arrows, what happened to your face?

**Clint:** I got bitch slapped by Nat.

**Thor:** For what purpose?

**Clint:** I was talking to Mystique.

**Thor:** Haha, I understand. Where is she now?

**Clint:** She's talking to Mr. Fantastic.

**Thor:** And he's a, as you would call it, 'lady killer' I assume?

**Clint:** Well, when you have the ability to stretch all parts of your body, the ladies tend to-

**Thor:** yes, yes, I understand o.o

**Clint:** good.

**Thor:** Well, it seems Steve and The Human Torch are wasted.

**Clint:** As expected. Fury will have our asses tomorrow.

**Thor:** Well, we knew he would anyway

**Clint:** Yup. *sips beer* for future refrence, if I get drunk, correction, when I get drunk, please carry me back to the tower

**Thor:** Haha, I will

* * *

Please comment with thoughts/suggestions/ideas as usual!

P.S. I apologize again for such a suckish chapter.

 


	33. Chapter 33

As always, it's been forever since I've updated, so sorry :( And also I'm sad and somewhat happy to say that this is the end of The Avengers Text Messages. I'm really going to miss writing these, and reading all of your guys's lovely reviews. I am just so busy lately with school, since I've got some difficult classes, and I am also extremely busy most days after school. So, instead of feeling bad since I never update, I am ending this journey here. It's been awesome and thanks to everyone who has ever reviewed or even just read this story. Over 400 reviews thanks to all of you! So enough of my blabbering, and on with the story. Enjoy.

* * *

**Tony:** sup Lo' ?

**Loki:** Nothing much

**Tony:** So in guessing you aren't busy today then?

**Loki:** Well actually, I have a pedicure scheduled at 3 and then Im getting my hair done at 4…

**Tony:** Oh, uh, nevermind then

**Loki:** Yes, It takes a lot to look as good as I do

**Tony:** well you do look pretty good.

**Loki:** Thank you Tony... I was just kidding btw

**Tony:** Oh... okay good. Cause I want to take you somewhere today :3

**Loki:** Where would that be?

**Tony:** Ice Skating!

**Loki:** Oh odin.

**Tony:** Why aren't you excited?

**Loki:** I've never gone ice skating before, Tony

**Tony:** Seriously? There's like ice EVERYWHERE in Jotunheim, right? You've never tried ice skating there?

**Loki:** No. We better not be going somewhere with a lot of people either, because I am NOT embarrassing myself

**Tony:** Oh, hahaa... I hope you're joking because we're going skating in Rockefeller center..

**Loki:** TONY!

**Tony:** I'm sorry! I just thought it would be a nice date for us… and I could teach you how to skate!

**Loki:** Hmm, well I guess I'll just go. ONLY because I know if I refuse you'll just drag me there anyway

**Tony:** Aw, you know I would :) I cant wait, It's gonna be so much fun!

* * *

_at the ice rink:_

**Tony:** Just push off like this..

**Loki:** DAMN YOU TONY I'M TRYING AND ITS NOT WORKING!

**Tony:** :/

* * *

_Later:_

**Tony:** Hey, look, you're getting it!

**Loki:** Maybe… I… am… OWW!

**Tony:** You were getting it…

**Loki:** CURSE THIS MIDGARDIAN ICE!

* * *

_after more failed attempts:_

**Loki:** I think… I've finally gotten the hang of it

**Tony:** Yeah, after like three hours of shouting at "midgardian ice"

**Loki:** Don't tempt me.

**Tony:** Sorry x3

**Loki:** This is actually... sort of fun now ^.^

**Tony:** See, I told you it'd be fun!

**Loki:** Yeah, I guess you did

**Tony:** _Ba do Ba do, duh duh, da da doo_

**Loki:** ... What are you doing?

**Tony:** _Ba do Ba do, duh duh, da da doo_

**Loki:** Tony?..

**Tony:** _I'm dreaming of a white Christmas!_

**Loki:** it's Christmas anymore...

**Tony:** _Just like the ones I used to know_

**Loki:** Oh god, it's a glee reference

**Tony:** _Where those tree tops glisten_

**Loki:** So wait, if you're Blaine then... I am NOT singing Kurt's part

**Tony:** _And children listen_

**Loki:** if you're trying to serenade me, it's not working

**Tony:** _To hear sleigh bells in the snow, oh_

**Loki:** ... Okay maybe it is

**Later** in the song

**Loki &:** _And may all your Christmases_  
 **Tony:** _And may all your Christmases_ *Leans in close to Loki*

**Loki &:** _Be, white_  
 **Tony:** _Be, white_ *skates away*

**Loki:** STARK, YOU TEASE! *Chases after Tony*

**Tony:** ha ha!

**Loki:** *bumps into Tony and looks him in the eyes* you will pay for that, Stark

**Tony:** *pulls Loki close* make me. *kisses him*

* * *

**Natasha:** *looking on from an undisclosed location* omg, they're so perfect for each other!

**Clint:** ikr? it's a shame Fury wants to break them up

**Natasha:** Yeah, I wonder why...

**Clint:** *watching Tony and Loki through binoculars* why don't we get to kiss like that?

**Natasha:** *pushes Clint playfully* shut up

**Clint:** What? *makes a pouty face*

**Natasha:** really? You know I love you *kisses him*

**Clint:** :)

* * *

Hehehe, I couldn't help but put in a twist-ish thing. You may be thinking that this story IS done now, but is there another to come? Well, I'm not sure yet. Maybe there is still an unexpected journey for the Avengers lying ahead... but a lot of it depends on what the readers want :) so please tell me what you think! Lastly, thank you to all my reviewers, readers, and even the flamers. You guys are awesome~ Kaitlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allright, so I've gotten some interest in a sequel, but I'm not sure yet if I'll do it. I'd like to, and if more people request a sequel (*hint hint*), I'll be more motivated to do so. Or if you want me to take a chapter and write it as oneshot, I could consider that too. Lastly, thank you all for reading my story!


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